Rev. Amy's Thoughts

From the September 2010 Focus

Xenophobic. Anti-Islamic. Hate crimes. Illegal immigration. Human rights. Patriotic. All of these words have painted my sum-mer, and will continue to lead the news shows for some time to come. But what do they mean to us? At our General Assembly in June, held in Minneapolis, the hot topic was combating the new law in Arizona that, in its efforts to stem illegal immigration, allows for racial profiling. In August in New York City, a powerful Imam (Muslim holy leader) announced that his group is planning to build a community center that would offer the top two floors as a space for Muslims to pray during their 5 daily devotions, and the site is near, or on, Ground Zero. The issue is dividing people between those who believe in religious freedom and those who equate the religion of Islam with the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001 and feel it is disrespectful for the "mosque" to be built there. (It is not a mosque, but a community center.)
Where do we stand on these issues?

Where do you stand? Is there a right and wrong in these complicated matters? And, is it our place, as a congregation in Michiana, to worry about these topics and these people?

The answer is simple in some respects, and very complicated in most other respects. Martin Luther King Jr. said that injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. Therefore, we must concern ourselves with the attitudes, if not the actual people, that con-tinue to oppress people of color, foreign people, non-Christian people, and anyone whose human rights are being denied by a group who has power. As a free, liberal religion we are called to stand up for those whose rights are being withheld or questioned, just as we have with the desegregation fights of the civil rights era and our ongoing quest for equality for our brothers and sisters who are LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender).

Often social justice and legal justice meet, and people get arrested, or bring lawsuits, or fight to pass or kill referendums. Sometimes these are church people who do the activism--sometimes it‘s you or me. In our congregation I hope to have discussion groups and study groups to learn about some of these issues, locally, and beyond. As we look at our third year together--UUFE and me--may it be a year of exploring what we can do, and what we should do, while remembering to discuss topics respectfully, to be the change we‘d like to see in our world.

Rev. DeBeck

From the August 2010 Focus

In a few days I will drive to Maine and I have lots of thoughts spinning in my head. I am remembering road trips as a child, driving from VA to Cape Cod to see my Polish grandparents. I’m thinking of the trip back and forth between here and VA when my children go to see their Polish grandfather. And, oh, those carefree trips as a young adult, taking off for the day to see where the road (and gas money) would take us!

Always, though, there was the sweet relief of coming home.

When I think about coming home that first week of August, I feel joyous and hopeful and excited. This will be a year of setting in place procedures and policies, and covenants, so that we may all know what to expect from each other. That may sound tedious or restricting, but the opposite is true.

When I work with a couple who are to be married, they are given a packet of choices for how they would like their wedding ceremony to be. What they choose to say to each other, what I will say to them—the public words that set the tone for their relationship—these are all important for them to remember, especially when things get tough.

I approached the Rev. Gordon Gibson, our minister emeritus, about a right relations covenant between him and me that we can share with you. I was worried he might think that is silly, because we get along great, but he happily agreed. He knows, as I do, that when things are good is exactly the time to put into words the best strivings each has for the relationship. You have them to turn to if there is a problem, and you have them to think about when you are feeling appreciative.

We speak our covenant aloud in our service each week. Its meaning is deep and it helps us speak the truth in love when things get tough, and to be appreciative when things go well. As we go forth with some pretty big stuff this year—our new building dedication, our 50th anniversary, the UUA’s 50th anniversary, tying in our new building with our existing one, and beginning to have 2 services each week, it will be of vital importance that we speak the truth in love. And that we speak to each other. And listen. To each other. Even when it is hard. I look forward to the celebrations and to the work.

In the meantime, while I am traveling, know that I carry you with me always. And be ready to celebrate Labor Day at the DeBeck house—we will have Moxie soda and Red Snapper hot dogs from Maine!

In peace,
Rev. Amy

From the July 2010 Focus

Here I am at General Assembly again, the first one since St. Louis in 2006. Getting to see our religion at work in such grand style with so many of us here is exhilarating. I find myself pondering some deep questions, even as there are hugs and catching up to do, and children to entertain, and workshops to get to on time. Why do we keep coming together to do this work? Who are we? Whose are we?
I’ve heard some really fine speakers who raise these and other questions. My own answers may change a little, but the strong beliefs behind the answers stay mostly the same.

We do this work because it matters. It matters not just to us that we act in a socially just, compassionate, logical, ethical, sustainable way, but it matters in the lives of people whose journeys are intertwined with ours, and it matters in the world. It actually matters that we voted to ordain known homosexuals, that we officially stood up in the civil rights era, and that we voted to believe in global warming and work toward reducing our impact on the planet. These things matter.

We are so many diverse people. Our GA opening ceremony featured different people introducing themselves, giving their connections to this faith, then their age and if this was their first GA or their 30th. And then they said, "I am the UUA." My thoughts were on UUFE afterward, and our mixed bag of ages, races, backgrounds, and experiences, and my thoughts were that our mixed bag is precious.

Whose are we? We belong to each other. The longer we stay in community, the more appropriately vulnerable we allow ourselves to be with one another, the more we help others, the more we belong to each other. Surely we are all children of God, also, and travelers in the universe, but during this wild life we belong to each other, for the giving and receiving of tender care and loving kindness.

Being at GA makes me happy to be here and anxious to get back home to you.

In peace,
Rev. Amy

From the June 2010 Focus

Our UUFE calendar runs July 1 to June 30, so this is the last newsletter of this church year. What a year it has been! There is exactly one thought on my mind—our continued health! We have had a great year with our construction expansion and our work toward more open communication. Next year we are poised to do more great things, and we will, but only after we bask.

There’s time for all of us—me, too—to get some rest and bask in our successes for awhile. We experienced some losses, which is always hard. But we celebrated their lives well, too. We worked hard on improving open communications systemically, which has led us through many difficult, lengthy meetings. But we are stronger for these meetings and our future is brighter for it. Our construction process has meant that the kids are underfoot, and that we were often covered in a fine, yellow film. But we have a beautiful Gathering Place. And so, as we feel a little bit tired, may we also bask in what went well.

In peace,
Amy

From the May 2010 Focus

From a song I love, called “These are Days, by 10,000 Maniacs

"These are days that you’ll remember
When May is rushing over you
With desire to be part of the miracles You see in every hour
You’ll know it’s true
That you are blessed and lucky
It’s true that you are touched
By something that will grow and bloom in you"

In 22 months of serving this congregation, I have done memorial services for 11 people and married 7 couples, preached countless times, told children’s stories, served on the Elkhart Area Ministerial Association for 2 years, one as president, attended multiple committee meetings multiple times, eaten at a lot of potlucks, met with our youth group, spoken in public forums as your religious leader on varied topics from interfaith prayer to health care, traveled to Chicago, South Bend, Ottawa, Arlington National Cemetery, Ferry Beach in Maine, and used every minute on my Verizon cell phone plan each month, all while a construction project is happening. And these details are only a few of the things done by me; they do not begin to list the work of the people at UUFE.

"Blessed and lucky."

This is how I feel to serve this congregation, and I hear all the time that people feel that way to be in this community. 11 memorial services have reminded me time and time again of the importance of beloved community—the inclusion of family and family of choice--that makes our lives so much richer. We are blessed by the company of each other and lucky to have a place to come together and examine life’s questions.

"It’s true that you are touched by something that will grow and bloom in you."

Come and be touched by this group, this shared ministry, this building and its beauty, the call to serve our wider community, and the coffee and goodies each Sunday. If you have been feeling like you’d rather not come on a Sunday, or if you still get this newsletter and haven’t come in years, I invite you to come home to UUFE. Again. We’re different enough from whenever you attended to be exciting, but have stayed the same enough to be comforting. The Catholic church frequently puts out a call to lapsed Catholics; this is my call to lapsed Unitarian Universalists. Come back—we’ve missed you. Maybe you won’t know how much you missed us until you get here.

From the April 2010 Focus

For the month of April, I am looking backward, but not too far.

Last month I declared that for Lent I would be giving up cable TV and fast food. Also, I pulled up last April’s newsletter to see how far we have come in one year. One month, and one year, how are we doing?

First, the company we switched our telephone and internet service to has not worked out in the areas of service or customer satisfaction. By coincidence, we found that a neighbor is a salesperson for another company that offers great customer service on TV, internet, and telephone, for a lower price than what we were paying just for phone and internet. What does this have to do with ministerial musing? Here are my thoughts: we need to be able to revisit our decisions, change them or "tweak" them if necessary, and continue to make good decisions without stubbornly sticking to our first thoughts. AND the other message I learned was that it is a good thing to talk to your neighbors because we can help each other out when we take the time to connect.

As for fast food, several musings. I have cut way back but have not been perfect. What has happened is that I have paid more attention to where food comes from, leading me to feel closer to that which I call the divine. Our earth will care for us if we eat foods that are more natural than processed, and my neighbors have taught me a lot. I may even try to grow some food. So, the Lenten experiments, while they have not been perfectly adhered to by me, have in fact caused me to reflect on the nature of my community, my personal choices, and my intimacy with a lifesustaining force known to many as mother earth/father god.

Lastly, my April reflections from last year….they were about adding an additional service to the life of UUFE. We have been talking about this for a long time—before I got here, even. In the last several weeks the Committee on Ministry has met with the Committee Chairs three times so that we have a full, comprehensive picture of what our congregation would look like with two services offered.

And, guess what I found? The outcomes are the same for all of my musings—cable TV, fast food, worship services, and church life. Depend on your neighbors, let them depend on you, seek closer intimacy with your sustaining force, tweak plans when necessary, don’t be disappointed with imperfection, and reflect on all of it.

In peace,
Rev. Amy

From the March 2010 Focus

I have been thinking about Lent and how logical and human a time it is.

Not having been raised in a religious environment, I have no experience of Lent, only Easter morning with bountiful non-religious treats. I was talking with a Christian friend about what it means to him; it is very personal to each adherent, but the message is basically the same. It prepares the believer for celebrating the Holy Week leading to Easter Sunday. Some people deny themselves something dear for the (roughly) 40 days between Ash Wednesday and Easter, they pray more, concentrate on giving to charity, and reflect on their lives. Some people choose to fast during periods of Lent, also.

It reminded me of my friends in VA who are Muslim and celebrate Ramadan, then Eid. During Ramadan, Muslims fast so that they may be closer to God and have more purity of thought. Part of the cleansing process includes increased prayers, giving to the poor, and avoiding, in general, worldly temptations.

When I thought of this connection, I also thought of Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement. I recall studying this day in seminary, and finding that observant Jews fast, and pray, give to charity, and ask for their sins of the past year to be absolved.

Three different traditions, different religions, and at different times of the year, but there are similarities that interest me, for myself. Clearly, fasting or denying oneself something dear heightens people’s awareness and gives us a clearer path to our thoughts. Personally, I understand prayer to be a turning inward, and not the petition to a supernatural being. Heightened awareness would logically move me to turn inward. When we are more in touch with ourselves, it leads to feelings of gratitude such that we want to give to charity and be forgiven sothat we may have a clean slate.

Lent for this UU minister is a new idea, but I have decided to use this time to turn inward, avoid worldly distractions, (I canceled cable TV) and practice self denial (one of my biggest weaknesses—fast food) so that I may clear my head and heart for the coming spring. I look forward to discussions with those of you who want to talk with me about whether you practice Lent in some fashion, too.

Blessed be,
Rev. Amy

From the February 2010 Focus

The Place of Curiosity There is a fine line between being curious and being intrusive and you don’t know it’s been crossed until it is. In church we ask a lot of questions, and one of the hymns we love to sing ends with the line, “To question is an answer.” In reviewing our communication skills and level of access the congregation has to information, I think that curiosity needs to be reviewed and revived.

For myself, I am always curious about people and when they want to talk I love to listen. I am not likely to, however, ask several probing questions because I believe that is intrusive. Maybe I’ve been wrong, though. I don’t call people when they aren’t in church because, who wants to think that their minister is keeping records, or that attendance is mandatory? Not calling, though, may seem uncaring. Somewhere there is middle ground and I have confidence it will be found.

We are embarking on the OWL (our whole lives, grades 4-6) sexuality education program soon and we had our parent orientation meeting to share the information their children will be learning. One main point we all discussed was that we need to be “askable” parents, our homes need to be places that children’s curiosity is welcome, and just as with the OWL classroom, curiosity is rewarded with care, and with facts.

In regards to our construction project, the level of curiosity shown at our Town Hall Meeting buoyed me. Operating within a set of rules, questions were asked, most received answers on the spot, and it was all respectful. When the rules for handling questions are laid out, even as they are being laid out between Jim Victor, our site supervisor, and the Troyer Group, information can flow more freely. Nobody is worried about crossing any lines. Rules are good but they are not always readily or easily understood. This is where good will is essential. Assume that the question is being asked because the asker wants to help, and assume that the answer received will be the best possible.

On the congregational level, referring to the Gathering Place, missing church, OWL, or any other topic, someone else’s curiosity merits our assumption of good will. Sometimes we (me, too) need to take a breath, and then take the risk, of asking or answering.

In peace, Rev. Amy